I haven’t written anything for quite some time… haven’t wanted to. Lately, I’ve been feeling like crap. Living alone and school has taken a toll on my mental health. And it’s harder to find energy and motivation in order to do the things I have to.
Now, I have a much better control over my mild anxiety, which I developed already in middle school, but I haven’t gotten rid of it completely.
Around the same time, I did not have a really good relationship with food either. I’ve not struggled with my body image that much but sometimes I find being around food uncomfortable. It’s not a regular thing for me, but I get more like waves of that feeling.
I’m in the middle of one wave right now… This week I’ve felt like crap and I haven’t eaten normally for about three days. I feel nauseous all the time. I just can’t bring myself to eat and I feel like I’m dehydrated, so I’m drinking lots of water. I feel sick when I’m not eating and I think I feel worse after I have.
I know it’s not normal but I don’t know who to talk to or what to do about it, because, like I said, it’s a come-and-go thing.
Although, I have loving and caring friends around me, I haven’t felt that alone in a long time. I think the reason behind this is that most of them are in relationships and have their own stuff to deal with. But, yes, I feel lonely – and I am not very fond of that feeling.
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